I watched from a distance one Friday a young mom and dad with their 3 boys and a girl as they camped close to our campsite.  They had a nice travel traveler.  I assume he was a farmer and she worked to support the family business.  Mom and Dad both were preparing a hot breakfast on the gas stove.  Two of the boys, I would say 8 years old, who looked like they were twins toss a ball back and forth.  Both were typical active boys who loved sports.  The eldest boy, 10 years old, explored the grounds around the camper.  He didn’t venture too far away but kept himself busy looking for bugs and fun rocks.  The little girl was 3 years old, and loved to climb.  She climbed on the picnic table.  She climbed up and down the steps of the camper.  She hopped up into the lawn chair.  She used her mobility in anyway possible. 

As I watched the family work and play, I saw that each child had his/her way of playing and doing things. 

When does God show up? Sunrise and sunset…the flight and landing of a hummingbird…a bee pollinating a flower…the fragrance of a rose…the sound of a babbling brook…a serene walk on a hiking trail.

Where does God show up? In the emergency room waiting for the news…Over a cup of coffee while having a heartfelt conversation with a close friend…During the long drive to work…Sitting in the sanctuary hearing people praise God…at the foot of a massive oak.

Sometimes, however, the hardest part is waiting for God to show up or creating space for God to show up.

May Day

“April showers bring May flowers, and do you know what May flowers bring? Mayflowers bring pilgrims.” My third-grade teacher, Mrs. Coffee, shared this with the class with bright countenance. On May 1st we open our books to study the Pilgrims’ adventures in the New World. I wonder what the pilgrims felt when they finally reached shore. Did they kiss the sandy beach? Did they pray and praise God for arriving safely? How did they know the place they stood could flourish? We know they travelled to this hostile and potentially hospitable land to freely worship God. These eager and optimistic people wanted to start a new community from scratch.

It is officially spring. And that means some days are warm and some are still cold. Spring is really about opportunities. It is about possibilities. As I move into spring and away from winter I am naturally drawn to planning. Planning what we will put in our small garden, and what flowers in the pots that decorate the deck and office. Any new herbs this year in my herb garden? I wonder, I think, I plan. Lost in the delights of warm air and a season outside. Of windows open, of singing birds of long walks with Kurt and Tanner (our Australian Shepard).

When we are struggling with depression or anxiety this wistful hoping and wondering can be shadowed by the worst-case scenario. A kind of dark cloud that can only imagine a future in the grimmest of ways. This of course is our brain’s attempt at protection. If we can be prepared for the worst, we will have a much better chance of survival.

In times of uncertainty or when faced with seemingly insurmountable challenges, it’s easy to feel stuck, overwhelmed and discouraged. However, it’s vital to remember the timeless wisdom handed down to us by previous faith-indwelled believers. They faithfully believed “With God all things are possible.” This short phrase serves as the light which we see breaking over the far horizon. It reminds us that our faith in Jesus Christ transcends any obstacle or limitation we may encounter along life’s journey. Jesus said, “if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can tell this mountain to be thrown into the sea.”

“The Science of Trust is a book written by Dr. John Gottman, a psychologist and relationship expert. In his book, he explores the dynamics of trust in committed relationships. Below are summaries of the eight positive dynamics to nurture a trusting environment.

#1 Positive Relationship Dynamic: Emotional Attunement

Dr. Gottman emphasizes the importance of emotional harmony, which involves partners being aware of each other’s emotions, understanding them, and responding in a supportive manner. This sympathetic response fosters a sense of connection and builds trust over time.

We live in a season where we think we must eradicate anything uncomfortable or foreign. Suffering is one. Heartache is another. Injustice done to us is still another. Troublesome events. There are a few ways we try to do this. We wipe away the bad decisions from our minds acting as if nothing happened; or scrub out all those regrettable choices through rationalization. We believe we can act as if we live perfect lives among our loved one and friends, but we are miserable on the inside.

We find out in this exchange that Aslan is good despite being unsafe. The farmer in the parable is Jesus. Jesus sows good seed in the hearts of humanity; and God’s goodness should not be seen as impotent, but a powerful force for good.

On a particularly sunny morning I took my dog, Tanner, for a hike on a 5-mile out and back trail. Ordinarily, I hike a brisk pace to elevate my heartrate to experience a cardio workout.  I decided to change it up and make this one a letting go and looking up meditative one with a leisurely pace.  I told myself I want to observe more detail in God’s nature. Colors, shapes, sounds, and smells.  What started out as a walk for a physical benefit turned into an existential moment, more accurately, and Ebenezer moment.  Viewing God’s nature in greater detail is one thing, but allowing God to assist you recalling the dark and dusty details in your life is whole another matter.  This kind of deep dive may cause the buzzards to circle and start looking for dead stuff.

When I meet with couples seeking counseling for their marital issues and trouble, I hear both the husband and wife say they have grown apart and they are unable to communicate. Finally, they mention the lack of an emotional connection. In other words, they needed to make a journey to Mizpah. They seek a stronger emotional bond as a couple. This when they turn to trusted sources for help…

Why is it important to be live and love intentionally in a relationship? It shows motivation and active engagement. So why is it intimidating to intentionally take a step and move toward someone? It could be perceived as risky behavior, meaning a partner considers putting himself or herself out there might stir up hidden fears and anxiety. Who knows how the loved one might respond whether open, closed, defensive or have no response at all.  Being intentional involves courage, choice, and strategy.  The influence of intentionally opens the heart for a positive response from the person you love. 

Here's one observation, as a pastoral counselor, I have noticed among couples who enter counseling…

I don’t know about you but when we get to March, I kind of wipe my forehead and blow out a long sigh of relief. I do understand that bad weather can still come in March, but it just feels like we are closer to spring. It has been a relatively mild winter and for that I am grateful. We have had our usual share of gray days but there have been a few where the sun has managed to peek through all those clouds.

What this time of year usually means for me is it is time to start thinking about our garden and my flowerpots. I have spiral notebook that I write down how many plants we purchased, where we planted them and any notes I have for the next year. I like to get this notebook out and look at what we planted each year. I have been working to take better notes so that I will be able to see what worked and what didn’t. There was a note from last year to put more room between tomato plants in our very small garden so we can get to the tomatoes more easily harvest those beautiful, juicy, sweet yet savory end of summer delights. As Jen Hatmaker might say, the deliciousness of freshly harvested tomatoes is proof that God loves us.

Who was the Old Testament person thrown in the pit by his brothers? Joseph. And why was he thrown down the dry cistern? Ultimately, it was jealousy. The brothers’ believed Joseph was the favorite son of their father. Their resentment hardened their hearts so much that they were willing to kill their own flesh and blood. A few wanted to kill him on the spot when he wandered into their camp with a message from their father. They finally decided they did want blood on their hands, so they threw him in a pit; and later sold him as a slave to strangers.

Kroger or Aldi strives to be heath conscious for their customers. Heathy options abound in each aisle. What started out a few years ago with a small organic, no GMO section has turned into a marketing strategy that serves a growing population of wise shoppers who want to live longer and be sensitive to the earth’s ecosystem. However, there is one product that recently got me to thinking about its purpose and name when the company removed one ingredient.

I’m talking about the new and improved saltine cracker. Now you can choose between the Salted or Unsalted Saltine Cracker. (Maybe this type of cracker been around forever, but not in my observable universe.) Does it make sense for a person to ask to pass the unsalted saltines when there is not salt on them? Shouldn’t we say, “Pass the ‘tines’ please.” Now I’ve tasted a handful of those unsalted saltines and let me tell you they taste like “blasé-tines.”

December is often described as the season of giving. It is a lovely sentiment. The reality may be different for many of us. Although billed as the joy of giving it can sometimes feel like dread, emptiness, loneliness, and sadness. The Christmas marketing campaign, full of those happy faces and family reunions can leave us feeling like we are doing something wrong, we should be happy, and we aren’t, leaving us with one gift of the holidays that seems to keep on giving; GUILT.

The pandemic put some of those dreaded parties and get-togethers on hiatus, permanently cancelling others and that was good. Some traditions just don’t need to continue. That is ok. When giving begins to feel more like a burden than a joy, it may not be that something is wrong with you, it may be that something is right with you. Take stock in how you feel this Christmas. Jot it down in a journal so you can refer to it next year. You don’t have to continue to do things simply because, “that’s how it has always been.” Spice it up. Think of giving differently.

Earworms, sometimes known as Involuntary Musical Imagery, mostly occur with catchy jingles or a simple melody. They rest in our minds with people who have good memories and those with obsessive-compulsive disorder, as well as those with high sensitivity. The condition generally lasts for only a short period of time (Sometimes as your trying to sleep.) and is often compared to a broken record or a feedback loop.  The music and lyrics repeat over and over. It has been found that up to 98% experience earworms. For a majority of people these have little, if any, effect on their lives. Only a small percentage describe them as annoying and/or causing insomnia.

Earworms may be compared to your worries about tomorrow which may lead to feelings of being stuck or debilitated.

The old church hymn, “Count Your Blessings,” has been proved to be not only intuitively accurate but also scientifically accurate. As we settle into this season, I would encourage you to do your own experiment. At the end of each day for the next 21 write down 3 things you are thankful for. It may be easy to just say the same few things every day like “I am thankful for my family.” But step outside that and think smaller.

Things like, I am thankful for Two Roasting Joe’s and good coffee.

I get asked often about self-care. I have seen a lot of definitions out there but the one I am leaning toward today is by Amanda White who I follow on Instagram. She says that self-care is anything you do today that will benefit your future self. I like that. There has been a tendency to mistake self-indulgence for self-care.

Using Amanda White’s definition can provide a lens through which to see more clearly what would constitute self-care for you individually. The tricky thing about taking care of yourself is that it needs to be tailored for you specifically. Whereas one person may find getting the house vacuumed on a Thursday evening so they don’t have to do it on the weekend as self-care another might just see that as work. Providing yourself with good self-care requires that you understand not only yourself but your best guess at your future self will need.

When are you most stressed?

A Native American wisdom story tells of an old Cherokee who is teaching his grandson about life.

“A fight is going on inside me,” the grandfather said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves. One is evil – he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, and ego. 

The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you – and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which one will win?” The old wise grandfather simply replied, “The one you feed.” (Self-Compassion, pg. 98)

The human dilemma comes down to how you care for yourself and others.  What words do you use when you talk to yourself? Self-talk is normal. How do you treat yourself when you screw up? Judgmental words or compassionate words. 

We live a world that wants us to live a 24/7 life.  This path stretches for miles without one rest stop in sight. God created humans to have rest and God built in a day of rest.  Jesus chose a 7/24 attitude in a 24/7 world: Jesus put into motion what he hear from God: Rest. Pray. Love. Live for others. Matthew 7:24 says, “Everyone who hears these words of mine and acts on them is like a wise person who built their house on the rock.”

How do you have a Sabbath Rest in a world that is always ON?