Self-Care: When are you most stressed?

I get asked often about self-care.  I have seen a lot of definitions out there but the one I am leaning toward today is by Amanda White who I follow on Instagram.  She says that self-care is anything you do today that will benefit your future self. I like that.  There has been a tendency to mistake self-indulgence for self-care.

Using Amanda White’s definition can provide a lens through which to see more clearly what would constitute self-care for you individually.  The tricky thing about taking care of yourself is that it needs to be tailored for you specifically.  Whereas one person may find getting the house vacuumed on a Thursday evening so they don’t have to do it on the weekend as self-care another might just see that as work.  Providing yourself with good self-care requires that you understand not only yourself but your best guess at your future self will need.

When are you most stressed? If you are like a lot of us, it is in the morning.  If you have children, trying to get out the door in the morning can seem like an impossible feat.  What things can you do the night before that will help ease the morning stress?  When my children were young, we had a rug by the door where their shoes were kept.  It was not aesthetically pleasing to the eye, but I trained them to remove their shoes when they came in the house.  On mornings as we were getting ready for school, we did not have a mad search for shoes as they were easily accessible.  This is self-care? Yes.  My future self benefited every day as shoes were being put on in time for the bus.

Maybe evenings after work are your most stressful.  What could you do in the morning before work that would benefit your after-work self?  Again, this will be different for everyone.  Think about what is causing you to fret and start there.

Of course, there are basic things you can do to care for yourself.  Get enough rest, eat a healthy diet, get some exercise, drink plenty of water.  Make time for these important habits and you will reap the rewards.

Another way to provide yourself with care is to make room in your life for the things that give you energy.  The myriad of activities and responsibilities that drain you will always be a part of your life.  Make sure to find room in the chaos of life for those things that fill you.  It may be that you do not have time to devote a whole day or week to your joys but find some time, even if it is a few minutes to engage in things that fill you.

And if nothing else, be kind to yourself.  Stop beating yourself up and offer yourself the grace and compassion you offer to others.