Parenting Today

Whew! Parenting today is tough! Did you know that the expectation of parents today is greater than it has ever been.  I read a statistic recently that said working mothers today spend more time with their children than stay-at-home mothers did in the 70’s.  My questions are 1.) Is this realistic? and 2.) is this sustainable?  My children are all in their 20’s so I was raising my kids I 990’s-2000’s.  And things have changed a lot since then.

            As parents you are expected by social media and our culture to do things right with your children 110% of the time.  Every activity, every program, every waking moment should be educational, entertaining and structured.  And you are supposed to make it happen and if you don’t then ii is clear that you are not measuring up.

            I haven’t seen any statistic’s on this in a while but years ago the idea was that if you did things right about 30% of the time your kids would turn out ok.  Which is to say, you don’t have to be perfect.  

            And this striving for perfection is not just hard on parents but it is actually not good for our kids.  We used to talk about a phenomenon called “helicopter parents.”  Parents that hovered over their kids making sure that they were safe and happy and entertained.  The latest parenting style is being termed “snowplow parenting.”  We are no longer hovering we are actively removing every obstacle from our children’s paths.

            How is this not good for kids?  Well, we tend to learn more from our failures than we do from our successes. Also, it is through adversity that we gain resilience, a trait that is essential for living in our unpredictable and unfair world.  Allowing our kids to have failures while we are there to walk alongside them and nurture them through them is the best preparation for life. 

            Have you even been told no as an adult?  Have you worked hard on a project only to have someone else get the glory?  Have you had to let go of a dream?  All of these things can be devastating but are a part of being an adult. IF our children don’t experience difficulty, failure and unfair treatment as children with us to love them through it, how will they manage when they are out on their own and suffer their first real disappointment? 

            All this is to say, relax enjoy your kids, love and support them through their struggles and help them to see that struggling is a part of a life well lived.