Jesus Wept
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…” (Psalm 23:4) You might know what the Psalmist writes next. “I will fear no evil.” Death appears in the most unlikely of places. Death strikes when innocent people aren’t looking. Death does not play favorites. You may have had a loyal pet die. You may have had a close friend lose her cancer battle. You may have watched your father peacefully take his last breath. The moment when the “shadow of death” passes over a loved one it is next to impossible not to fear. How am I able to live life with my beloved gone? Who will I talk to you? Why did it have to end this way?
If you are the person in the room wanting to comfort someone who is grieving, the task may seem to be insurmountable, but you do have the ability to care. You are human. You do feel pain and loss.
Active listening is the most comforting gift you can share. Jesus went to see Mary and Martha after hearing about Lazarus’ death. Today, I won’t focus on the miracle of Lazarus’ resurrection, but I want you to hear how Jesus made himself available. The Bible says that “Jesus wept.” (John 11:35) He emotionally connected with the two sisters. Their friendship with Jesus was known among the crowd. Even Mary and Martha, in their grieving state, tried to come up with a logical reason for why Jesus took his time to arrive to potentially heal Lazarus.
How did Jesus respond? Jesus had multiple options. He could have snapped his fingers and raised the brother. He could have turned death into a teaching moment and talk about the meaning of life and the finitude of death. He could have said one those pithy and inappropriate comments, “God needed Lazarus more than you did.”
Jesus wept. The human Jesus showed that his heart broke. He felt loss. His tears were the only way to comfort the sister. Empathy, shown while a person is walking through the valley of the shadow of death, creates a spiritual bound between the griever and the care giver. Jesus’ weeping, your weeping, lets the hurting one feel loved. Your presence lets them know that they do not need to experience this moment alone and isolated.
As a pastor, having done hundreds of funeral messages, I have had families make comments to like this after the service, “Thank you, pastor, for the message. You spoke as if you knew my beloved friend personally.” And the reason they felt this to be true happened to be that I wept with them when I listened. I felt their love for the deceased. I felt their pain. I hurt right alongside of them. I actively listened to connect my spirit of love with their spirit of grief.
Jesus spoke with great love when he said, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4) God’s love penetrates the broken hearted. God’s love passed through Jesus when he wept over the loss of Lazarus, and Mary and Martha were comforted.
God’s love lives in you, and the Holy Spirit gives you the gift of being like Jesus. Do not fear death. Do not fear that you might say the wrong thing. Those who are grieving are not looking for the right words. They are looking see if anyone cares enough to provide a caring presence and a listening ear. And if a tear comes to your eye that’s O.K., too.